How are the juxtapositions of the last two weeks possible?
Two weeks ago, I was doubled over in my bathroom, anxiety coursing through my veins like a poison I was waiting to succumb to, after seeing photographic evidence of modern day Nazis overrunning the United States Capital. For several seconds, I truly questioned how long my Jewish-ancestry existence would be allowed to continue. How far are we really from the extreme far right takeover that reared its ugly head on January 6, 2021? There were 10 years between the beer hall putsch and Hitler’s being named chancellor of Germany. Do I have 10 years before we put someone akin to that in power? And then what? Weeks, months before I get rounded up and sent to a death camp?
And does the same fate, or worse, await my 16 month old daughter?
The thoughts swirled around for a few days, but, like a snowdrift, they faded away - like a snowdrift, I know they may come again.
But then last night, I nearly doubled over in tears of joy thinking, “Tomorrow there will be a woman in the White House, and not just as the First Lady.”
(Not that we haven’t had amazing first ladies who deserve recognition in their own right. But this is somewhat different, you have to admit.)
How could I be brought to such extreme terror and such extreme joy and relief in the span of just two weeks?
How can we live in a single country that is so dual in its beliefs that both things are possible at the same time?
It’s mind boggling.
When I woke up this morning, my pearls sitting in solidarity with Kamala on my dresser, unpredicted snow blanketed the ground. I was brought back to this piece I wrote three years ago:
“There is silence in snowfall. The whole world comes down in those little white crystalline structures, all innocence and glitter. Everything else that is not a snowflake ceases to move, stands still and holds its breath while the bits of icy lace pile atop each other. They put a blanket of pure white over dark, now sodden trees and logs. Little bits of grass poke their heads out of the same comforter. The slate sky is soft in its silence. I could watch the world come to this crunching, comforting halt for days on end. Is this coverlet of white a blank slate? Does it let us start anew with a fresh palette?”
How interesting that nature gave us this blank slate this morning. America is, as my husband put it, “more divided than we have been since the Civil War.” I feel that - of course I do, I was doubled over for double reasons in two weeks. The duality we are facing is literally waging its own Civil War in my mind.
And now, this. Like a news reporter interrupting our attention span with the next story (as useful or useless as it may be), we have been given this fresh start.
Instinctively, my thoughts said something to me about “whitewashing the last four years from existence,” and they meant it in the same way Tom Sawyer whitewashed (or didn’t) that fence all those years ago. But then another part of my thought-brain came back with, “Yikes, poor choice of thought-words, self.” We don’t want anymore of that metaphorical white washing, no siree. It’s that kind of thing that’ll end us up in the same place Germany was in 100 years ago.
In fact, it’s been almost exactly 100 years. Have we learned nothing? (That’s a question for another time.)
I find myself filled with these dual thoughts on the regular these days. I think something that would have slid through the back of my mind sans-notice a few years ago, but now it gets stopped by the new-ish part of my brain that worries I’ll offend someone accidentally. Will someone perceive what I say as racist/sexist/ageist/transphobic/homophobic? Because I don’t want that.
And screw being “too PC.” Not caring about political correctness is not caring about other people. Why shouldn’t I want to offend the least amount of people possible? (Other than fascists/racists/NeoNazis. They can go fuck themselves.) Why shouldn’t I make a conscious effort to BE A GOOD PERSON and make others feel at ease? What is wrong with that?
The answer is nothing. Nothing at all is wrong with wanting to be inclusive. (Other than of fascists/racists/NeoNazis. They can go fuck themselves.) For so long, many of these people I am now conscious of not wanting to offend did nothing but get offended in secluded silence. Why should I NOT be willing to feel the most minor amount of discomfort by questioning my own thoughts when others have had their very existence questioned? I afford others that much camaraderie - you’ve been genuinely uncomfortable for so long; I will now share that burden, albeing minimally, with you.
And with camaraderie in mind, why is the phrase “liberal snowflake” hurled around like it’s a bloody insult when all it really does is acknowledge the truth of humanity? Snowflakes are, by their very nature, by the same nature that binds all reality together (don’t correct my metaphysics here, okay?), all made up of the same stuff despite their looking entirely different.
(Although even saying they’re “made up of the same stuff” is misleading because even though they may be made up of the same types of atoms with the same numbers of subatomic particles, obviously those subatomic particles exist multiple times to make up the atoms, so even though they’re the same type, even if they were carbon copies, they would exist twice, and then they would have different experiences [yes, even snowflakes can have experiences, like how they get blown up and down through the atmosphere and what happens to them once they hit the ground and shit], so they would still be different. In fact, even if they had the same exact experiences, they would exist twice, so you see, it wouldn’t be the same exact material making them up…)
Hmm. I went a little off the rails there. I hope you catch my “drift.”
The point is, all humans AND all snowflakes are made up of the same basic subatomic material but are still unique. We are simultaneously the same and different. Why is it an insult to acknowledge that? To be clear and refute a point some people try to make, no one is asking for special treatment because of these differences. Most people want us to not only acknowledge the differences, but acknowledge the similarities.
Just acknowledge. We look different, we have different opinions and experiences, but at the molecular level, we’re all pretty damn similar.
(Not that fascists/racists/NeoNazis feel that way, but they can go fuck themselves.)
So I hope those snowflakes that fell this morning had a touch of the liberal about them. Liberal in the sense of its original definition: “willing to respect or accept behavior or opinions different from one's own; open to new ideas.” I hope the liberality they may have washed over our land leaves us all open - to discussion, to ideas, to work together towards positive change. I hope the next four years can more than begin to undo the worst parts of the last four.
That blank slate was a beautiful new perspective to awaken to.
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